Forget parenting hacks, science has unlocked a new secret.
A new study may have unveiled the secret for getting teenagers to listen to their parents’ advice.
The University of California, Riverside, conducted a study where people in their late teens and early 20s were more likely to listen to their parents’ unsolicited advice. But the catch was, they were more susceptible if the parent was supportive of their autonomy.
Elizabeth Davis, a UCR psychology researcher and senior author of the study, said validating children’s feelings and supporting different interests was important.
In a piece published in the Journal of Emerging Adulthood, she said certain statements that may be a common part of a parent’s repertoire may do more harm than good. Davis said retorting with ‘because I said so’ without explaining, or ‘get over it’ and ‘it’s not a big deal’ will build boundaries between you and your child.
194 ’emerging adults aged between 18 and 25 were studied in the sample size and included a diverse background. Out of the participants, 38.3% were Asian; 33.2% Latino; 10.4% multiracial; 6.7% Middle Eastern; 4.7% Black, and 4.7% were white.
Davis explained diversifying the sample size makes the results more “broadly generalizable”.
Participants were asked to reflect on times when parents offered advice, and they would rule whether the interaction was helpful or helped manage their emotions. Then the youngsters were quizzed on if they went looking for the support, or if their parents were giving it out without being asked.
Previous studies have determined unsolicited advice isn’t as effective when people dish it out without being called upon. But this study showed teens of parents who supported their autonomy, did deem advice helpful whether it was unsolicited or not.
“Highly autonomy-supporting parents may have increased insight into how to offer unsolicited support and thus do not fall into the trap of giving unwanted support,” the authors of the study explained.
They added: “So the way parents support their youth during this transitional phase will set the stage for later adulthood.”
